What is the right amount? (of kids to have)

"Will you have more babies in the future?"

This is the question I was asked recently. My 1st response is NO.

To be honest, I haven't really giving it a lot of thought. During my pregnancy and since the birth of my daughter I have unofficially decided that I don't want to go through the whole ordeal again and that Farah will be my 1 and only most loved little baby girl.

Who decides if I should have more kids? Am i really in control of my destiny? But if I was, what would I eventually decide on? Just the 1 kid, 1 more kid, maybe 2 more?

In an ideal world, I'd like to have ...uhmmmm.....4 daughters, 2 or 3 years apart. I'd like to be home full-time to be their role-model, their inspiration (this being the meaning of my name ~ Ilhaam). I'd like them to be close, always be their for each other....sort of like the Kardashian sisters hehehehehe.

Ok, back to reality. When/how do you know if you should or should not have more kids. Aside from the financial implications, are their signs? is it a feeling?

According to Dr. Phil:

If your spouse doesn't want any more children because of how difficult a pregnancy was:

• Argue her side for a minute. Put yourself in her shoes and try to see why she doesn't want any more children.
• Acknowledge what you don't know. You may be greatly underestimating what the pregnancy was like for her. Pregnancy can have a taxing effect on a woman biologically, constitutionally and physically. It is very painful, and for some, very debilitating, with biochemical changes that can bring on anxiety attacks and postpartum depression.
• Ask yourself if it is fair to ask her to go through that again. She may not be a good candidate for pregnancy at this time.
• It may also not be fair to ask your husband to have a vasectomy at this point. Don't burn bridges yet if there is a chance that your desires may change in the future.

If you are hesitating on having another child because you're afraid it will shortchange the love you have for your current child:

• Understand that you don't divide the amount of love you have to give by the number of children you have. You draw your love for them from different accounts, and you never run out.

For the most part, I am totally feeling Dr. Phil on the issue of unpleasantness of pregnancy as a grounds for not wanting more children. It's too soon to think of it in all honesty. It's only been 9 months since I've given birth so naturally I will still clearly remember puking my guts out on a daily basis for several weeks during my pregnancy, not to mention all the other nasties. So on the question of whether I'll have more kids, ask me in a few more years.

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt