Misunderstood

I always feel the need to explain myself to people so that they don't walk away completely misunderstanding me or misinterpreting my actions or choices.

It's strange because I am in no way part of the minority so why do I have to explain myself to people. Maybe I just have a chronic need to explain myself to be accepted or is it that people are just not tolerant of people who defy the course of life they may lead and see their (the silent questioner's) path as the only way to get to a destination.

For instance, I have chosen to keep my dad's surname and not take my husband's. This is not bizarre behavior and really does not require explaining but some still find MY choice objectionable. What the fuck!! It has nothing to do with you, my husband, his family or anyone for that matter. It's my choice; it is what feels right to me. I'm honoring my family name, so there leave me alone.

"So you're Muslim but you don't wear a scarf". Take a look around you there's 1000s of us, why not make it your mission to ask each one why they are not wearing scarves. It's a choice. It's not that I'm not aware of the requirement of the Islamic dress code but I am choosing not to wear hijab. I don't look for things that you are not doing and pointing them out to you as if you didn't know. What an insult!

It's easy to tell when a question is coming from a true inquiring mind and someone genuinely wants to understand but the sad fact is that most acts of curiosity are actually just belittling than anything else.

I have made a decision that I will no longer explain myself to people. Think as you like, your initial thought will probably always be the dominant one regardless of whether the facts were laid out in front you.

"We simply assume that the way we see things
is the way they really are or the way they should be.
And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions."
~ Stephen R. Covey

I read somewhere that when you're an explainer, you never learn how to trust your own choices. It robs you of empowerment, it discourages you. At the moment I am exploring my own faith and others. Slowly, bit by bit and every inch of it. Don't know how long I'm going take to identify it all, I don't know if I'll even finish and reach an eventual level of understanding but it doesn't matter. It's MY journey. Currently, I have other to-dos on my list as well, little things I am working on which I'll keep under the table to steer clear of any outside "creativity blockers" that may cross my path. I am not going to wait for your permission, approval, or for people to "get" my choices. I live from my soul, I act from my soul and my soul doesn't feel the need to explain anything. I just need my mind to play along as well. :)

Never explain yourself. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it.
~ Belgicia Howell