That “S” word…

Have you ever tried chatting to someone, just a normal casual chat and all you got in return was cynical and mocking answers?

We are all guilty of it, it's a tool that does come in handy but there really is a time and place for it and sometimes it is just plain uncalled for.

What am I talking about? SARCASM!!!

sar⋅casm

Pronunciation [sahr-kaz-uhm]
–noun

1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.

An unpleasant but minor incident in my office prompted me to re-thinking the benefits (if any) of being a cynical and pompous ass.

Although sarcasm is the lowest form of wit it may just be the highest form of intelligence because it takes only a real smart-ass to keep coming back with a myriad of sarcastic answers.
Very few of us have the ability to keep throwing insults (yes, for the recipient it feels like an insult) at someone and keep gnawing at their last nerve with all forms of sardonic verbal abuse.

When you are watching sarcastic tête-à-tête taking place it may be funny to you but being on the receiving end of it for absolutely no reason is well, not okay.

Is there ever a good time to be sarcastic? Probably not but I think many people use sarcasm when they are angry or hurt because they want to hurt the other person and probably also hide the fact that they are hurt. But even just saying this it's clear that all sarcasm is, is a tool to hurt others. If you hate the person or the person caused you pain then using the sarcasm tool, you probably could get away with it as most people will see it as being your defense mechanism. It surely beats getting physical.

In all other instances, I think witty-humor should be used and not sarcasm unless you deliberately aim to belittle someone. Sarcastic people are unpleasant to be around, unpleasant to speak to and many of them don't even realize that by being sarcastic they are tarnishing their relationships with people as no one wants to be around THAT!

Trying to understand the psyche of a sarcastic people I did some research. An article on Psychology Today reads:

So why do wisecrackers keep their bons mots coming at the risk of alienating others? Though they may not be aware of it, sarcasm is their means of indirectly expressing aggression toward others and insecurity about themselves. Wrapping their thoughts in a joke shields them from the vulnerability that comes with directly putting one's opinions out there. "Sarcastic people protect themselves by only letting the world see a superficial part of who they are," says Steven Stosny, a Washington, D.C.-based therapist and anger specialist. "They're very into impression management."

Because humor and hostility often come mixed together, it can be difficult to pinpoint a wisecracker's primary intent. "Sometimes sarcasm is humor—purely a Don Rickles kind of joking—and sometimes it's just innocently insensitive," Stosny says. "But other times, it's devaluing." Everyone benefits from a wisecracker's comic relief, but if you are the target of regular swipes, it's best to assertively call the joker out. His hilariousness doesn't give him the right to belittle you.

So now that I sort of understand what's happening in the offender's head I also want to know how to deal with it and here are some tips: How to deal with a sarcastic person

Good luck to all on the receiving end of cynicism and to those who use it often please think before you speak….

“Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive”